Friends forgive

I was talking to you about my suicidal thoughts while you were trying to calm me… I really appreciate it ! Unfortunately, you couldn’t anything for me because I was feeling extremely bad. I’ve planned to take a shower but I was afraid of making something stupid, you know what I’m talking about… That’s why I decided to put some music to release some of my endless grieves. At that time, you were working on our project; I was looking to you and thinking like ‘my God! It’s such a shame, I can’t do anything to help him, fuck these bad thoughts and fuck those stupid feelings!’ I noticed you were stressed and angry because it was not working very well. A few minutes later, you told me to have my shower and insisted so much, ‘have your shower or come and help me over this!’ Your tone was enough aggressive to make me feel so bad. I’m not trying to tell you that it’s your fault; I know it was mine… I was screaming so loud and told you stupid things, I couldn’t control my anger. I know you’re so mad at me but try to understand because I really want you as friend, I really think that we need each other… Sorry I’ve caused so much pain, sorry for hurting you, really sorry…